Numb With Chaos

Saturday Oct 8th was just horrifying!


We were moving my mother in law to her new house. My Mom was with Hannah at our house and Phillip was with us, Phil, Jerri and everyone else who moved her.


I had promised Phillip earlier that he could go to my Mom's apartment and visit with my sisters, watch movies and eat snacks. I put Phillip in the van and started the short drive over to the apartment. My phone rang and I did not answer it because I did not know the number. I received a voice mail so I checked it and all I could comprehend was Sarah crying hysterically and all I could hear was Fire...Emily...Hurt.....


The phone fell, I never even finished listening to the voice mail. I squealed around the corner and ended up following (prob more closely than they would have liked too) the firetruck. In the mean time I picked up my phone, called GaGa and told her all I knew...which wasn't much.


As I pulled up to the apartment I told Phillip to stay there, barely got the van in park and ran to my sisters. Sarah was crying. I couldn't. I quickly checked her over and saw she was alright. All I could manage was to tell her to go with Phillip in the van. I saw Emily sitting in a chair with 2 police officers and an ambulance pulling up. 


Everything was in slow motion at this point, I have no clue how my brain processed all this information so quickly. I saw Emily was holding her arm wrong, that was burned along with her face.... but for some reason her hair, eyebrows and eyelashes being burned didn't register until she pointed it out. I asked her if she was ok...a stupid question but I was still in "assess the damage mode". She said she was and I went to work. I spoke with police officers, firemen and once I was assured the fire was out and nothing was too badly damaged I got on my phone. I realized my Mom had NO clue what was happening, she was still at my house with Hannah (and no car seat for her). 


No answer on Mom's cell. By then they had moved Emily to the ambulance and said they needed a parent there. I explained I had power of attorney but because I didn't have the papers in my purse it didn't matter. I called GaGa back, no answer...she must have left right away...but she lives 40 minutes away... I also called PJ and he headed right over (I'm not sure when exactly I called him, but I needed for Phillip to see as less as possible)....I called my Dad's cell, he didn't answer. So I called his girlfriend Kim and quickly rambled something off and told them to get up here. 


My problem was Mom still wasn't answering. I tried calling everyone in my phone, either they were busy, too far away or couldn't come. I needed to stay there and couldn't go get my Mom. Thankfully PJ got there and switched vehicles with me and went to go pick them up. It was sobering.


The ambulance driver told me that they couldn't wait any longer because of Emily's O2 stats and they were leaving. They put it in reverse just as my Mom RAN around the back of the building and to the back of the ambulance. She pounded on the door, jumped in and they took off. 


I finished talking to the fire department who cleared us to go in and I went up there to see the damage.  I think by this point I was completely numb, I didn't feel anything. The damage to the apartment was not horrible...we grabbed the cat and left. 


My phone was being used so much trying to find someone to watch Hannah, get a hold of Mom and get the people that needed to be there, there that it was almost dead. 


My next mission: wait for GaGa and get to the hospital. I was still completely numb.


Once we were at the hospital things started to go normal speed. Emily was as good as she could be suffering 2nd possible 3rd degree burns on her face/nose, her hair singed almost off of her forehead/bangs area (where a headband would go), her eyebrows and eyelashes. The burn on her one arm is a 3rd degree burn and was already bandaged as much as they could. She was alive, with no major scarring and her other tests came back ok. She was in a lot of pain from the burns.


She see's the plastic surgeon tomorrow but besides the risk of infection she would be ok.


Thank God.


Speaking of God I realized that night once I had fallen into bed from pure exhaustion (about 11:40pm) that the whole time this was going on I never cried, got angry or sad. I was doing 2 things 1.panicking and 2. praying.... the whole time..... I felt if I kept that "direct line" open to Him that somehow I could get what I needed to do done.


The next day came the anger. I was mad at a lot of things and a lot of people. My body ached, I could barely walk. But somehow knowing that the girls would be ok, I knew that everything else would be too. I  stopped by the store to pickup supplies & helped my Mom clean up the aftermath and the girls came home. 


The panic I felt that day was the same as when we had our own fire. Knowing that Phillip went back into our burning house. It brought a lot of stuff up. But it also made me realize that even though everything has happened, we are all ok. 


I know that this Saturday was one of those times that God carried me, that He had me and was guiding me to do exactly what needed to be done. I was numb with chaos (if that makes any sense) but God took my hand and He got it done.